タリン・サザンのインスタグラム(tarynsouthern) - 7月14日 06時18分

The shedding started 4 weeks ago. But last night, despite my attempt to try to preserve hair follicles with cold capping, it began to fall out in clumps. With every gentle motion of my wide tooth comb, more slipped through, resulting in a sizable patch of naked scalp now conveniently hidden under the left side of my center part.

I didn’t originally intend to preserve my hair through chemo with cold capping. Aside from the pain and expense, the cold capping requires careful restraint (no super hot baths, saunas, intense exercise, sun on scalp, head massage etc) - it’s the equivalent of being on a diet and having to avoid all the things that make you feel happy when you’re tired and low energy. Then I learned about the small but real chance of permanent hair loss specifically with my drug TAXOTERE (large class action lawsuit with 14k women currently in process), and decided the pain of the cold caps would be worth the insurance policy.

To my surprise, there’s been something really nice about looking in the mirror these past few weeks and seeing me - not cancer. My hair makes me forget. But staring down the barrel of 2.5 more months of anxiety-inducing showers and daily shedding, only to potentially end up with large bald spots or half a head of hair isn’t ideal either.

If I stopped cold capping, I know I’d quickly grow accustomed to a bare head, reconcile my fears of permanent hair loss, and probably start a fun new game with wigs. But for now, the optionality of continuing versus not has been distressing.

Regardless of what I do, the uncomfortable examination of identity, emotional triggers, and the practice of letting go is all the same. I’m not always good at it, but trying my hardest. Even amidst tears, there’s space for comedy in the whole thing too. (Dark comedy, my favorite!) Curious if any of my cold-capping sisters (or non-capping sisters or taxotere sisters?) - anyone who’s dealt with hair loss really - has thoughts on this. Until then, enjoying my hair, however brief, and the privilege of having just enough to hide the bare reality growing under my left part 👩‍🦲 .
#chemo #coldcap #coldcapping #taxotere #her2positive #breastcancer

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paintthecitypink I have a huge permanent bald spot on my head (from proton radiation) not the chemo but it’s been over a year and it hasn’t grown back at all (which is rare) it’s very discouraging I do miss my hair sometimes. I finally just buzzed it off. Honestly this isn’t so bad...makes showers and getting ready so much faster. Keeps me cooler ( I live in Orlando, Florida ), and I’d rather just wear hats when I go out. Also I’d rather be alive than have hair. It sucks, but that’s the way it is. I tried wigs, but they are so itchy for me and hot. I just wear beanies or baseball caps. I’ve become a hoarder of hats now lol I haven’t been brave enough to go out without anything yet because I have a huge scar from my brain surgery across my head but maybe one day I will. Do whatever you think will be best for you in your own time. You are beautiful no matter what?

bedonnaperry I tried to hold onto every strand of hair by avoiding showering, combing my hair, and donning a cap as if it would hold the hair in. I gave up went to the wig lady and sobbed for an hour. Then I picked out a nice wig that lasted the duration of my long chemotherapy. They have really nice wigs that look like your real hair in every length and color. Made me feel secure in public. At home I didn’t bother though. Don’t torture yourself - the hair will grow back. Hang in there Taryn - one day at a time. There is life and laughter at the end of the tunnel.

sticks_over_forks HER2+ survivor here. Didn’t cold cap. Went completely bald after 2nd round of TCHP (taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, perjeta) chemo. It was awful. I cried. Felt sorry for myself for a split second then said fuck it! Tried wigs. Hated it. Just did head scarves, beanies, and hats. Head scarfing was fun and stylish. Loved it. Finished chemo in September. Hair started growing back in November. Slowly but surely coming back nicely. Hair is so personal. It’s a tough thing to get through losing it all. Whatever you decide to do or not do is entirely your choice. 💝

prnzesd @cuzzin2 @tarynsouthern Hi Taryn, this is Diane Eric’s friend. I know I have shared with you my cold capping story, but it was worth it to me to continue through the shedding. I am 7 months now post chemo and you would never know what I went through. I cold capped 16 times and lost probably 30-40% and it’s all growing back. Have you joined the Cold Cappers Support Page on FB? There are 1000 women Who have either gone through this or who are going through this right now. It is a great resource. Stick with it! I promise you it is worth it in the end ???

utkarsh030201 @tarynsouthern it’s been more than one month since you posted a photo of yourself after first Chemo, that day I decided not to touch any carbonated drinks whatsoever for at least a month just so that I can feel a bit better about the whole “Bob” situation and today I feel a little bad after drinking coke. I don’t know why I did that but I guess it makes me feel a little connected to you. Get well soon Taryn, my bestest wishes are with you and I will stop drinking again for as long as you are not completely healthy, I will try at least.

lifeinterruptedfilm I had taxotere. I was more concerned about losing feeling in my fingers and toes. Neuropathy issues which are also associated with taxotere. I had ice cold gloves put on my hands and booties on my toes to prevent this. Fortunately for me, no neuropathy. I did notice some bald spots on my head and have used oils to massage in scalp and wash hair only 2x per week, this helps. Chemo definitely sucks and we need to demand better treatments! Good luck.❤️❤️❤️❤️

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