ニーナ・メルセデスのインスタグラム(lifewithmariza) - 6月8日 07時57分

Do you still hold on to anger from past situations?
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I’ve been asked lately to forgive things in my past. Forgiveness is for us not them. It’s important to forgive for your heart but it has to be real in order to heal. Sometimes people say things but they don’t really mean it. I find certain things hard to forgive. When asked I said no and shut that door.
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A few weeks have gone by and the thought of accountably and empathy came to me.
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Growing up I’ve told you my parents weren’t emotional I never heard “I love you, you did great, you can do it” I can’t remember hugs as a child or even just the feeling of caring from them. I hold on to a lot of anger still attached to that because I feel like as a child I needed that. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right and maybe I could have been better if I had that.
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I also told you when I was very young my dads father molested me and this went on for years. When my sister told someone and I was asked, mind you I was 5, my dads family said I was lying. My dad didn’t talk to me and avoided me as I child I felt that distance and sense of abandonment. A hug, a “it’s not your fault” a simple “I’m sorry that happened to you” was what I needed.
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When the thought of empathy comes into this I removed myself and my anger and thought...What if my parents didn’t know how to react or how to feel? What if they didn’t know what to do with me? Maybe they chose to close down.
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My fault is I assume they would react the way I would and because they didn’t I’m angry. When I considered they can only be a bit better from how they were raised then I understand the emotional distance better. At that point my dads father did what he did and his mother said this 5 year old child and her siblings were lying.
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In that moment putting it all into perspective I was able to accept it for what it was and from my heart forgive my parents. We’re not given a handbook on parenting and considering the source maybe that’s the best they could do.
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If your still holding anger with situations from your past try and forgive. Remember that forgiveness is for you not them. You’ll open more space for the love you need and want.
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#life #love #healing

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