Kate Oliverのインスタグラム(birchandpine) - 3月5日 00時28分
Still have no idea what I want in here. There is very little clarity for designing when living in 213 square feet, at least for me. I feel like I’m just supposed to *know*, because I design for a living, but it’s completely different to have to live in a tiny space while designing and then building it. I can’t get far enough away from it to envision anything cohesive. There’s too much of the daily business of living to have a thorough creative process.
It’s hard to explain, and I’m probably not doing a great job of it right now, but it is what it is. I feel guilty for wasting time and materials and ideas, though I do feel that we are getting closer, and goodness, we have far bigger problems and pain and trauma and grief that we are dealing with, so design and building feels trite in the face of all of that, and perhaps that plays into it all on a very real level.
I just so badly want to feel like I’m at home, and that it’s all going somewhere good.
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artautour
@birchandpine I can’t imagine what you must be going through. It will take time for the rawness to heal. It is healthy and necessary to grieve. You are such an inspiration to so many. The spark may come back one sunny day or maybe gradually. But it will come back.
Sounds cheesy but my inspiration came from Pinterest as we were building our house. That was my saving grace because I couldn’t think and sometimes forgot what we wanted. My full time job was draining my energy. Living on site in an old hot Airstream with my whole office on top of a microwave. Constantly making last minute decisions because we had scheduled workers arriving 7am the next morning. As long as you have the feeling and big picture (even if it’s blurry) you will ok and it will be better than you could’ve imagined. Imagine that! I’m proof and alive and here to tell the story. Truth is that we are still building and changing things. That’s ok I think. It feels that the dream is still alive and being pursued. It can be frustrating at times but look at it this way - how many people have the privilege to build their house while living in it? Moulding it according to their needs?
Take the pressure off and have fun. Many are continually looking for inspiration from people like you! But this time they can wait! 😊🌿
lilraysoflove
As I read through this post, your words sparked a memory in me from three years ago, just after my beloved Duce passed away. At the time, I became obsessed with getting new living room furniture, completely different style and color than we had before. I felt like “what’s wrong with me?” but then realized, I couldn’t stand our home the way it was with Duce no longer with us. I’m not one to part with things, in fact I attach so much sentimental value into things, so it was a strange feeling. But that’s grief. It makes us feel and do things that we might not understand, or that seem unlike our nature. And yet, I think we cope as best we can, we try to make sense of a new present, absent of our dear ones. The pain still grips me now as much as it did then, as I write this. It’s so hard losing a piece of our soul. I’m so sorry for your pain.💛
laramygibson
I can totally relate, @birchandpine ... when my things aren't put away in their place (or don't even have a proper place yet), and my space isn't neat and tidy, my mind feels messy too. I find that in those times I have to breathe, speak my blessings, and maybe spend some time surrounded by nature to just get myself out of my own damn head. So I really mean it when I say all the best to you through this time of your life ❤️.
darcymontague
That totally made sense! To me when I look in that little alcove, I picture something reflective like a mirror or crystal or a disco ball 😂, or a plant with pretty round leaves that meander downward. But I think that is decorating and not designing 🤔😓 something about a mirror on that flat wall does intrigue me. 🤔🤔🤔
artautour
It’s difficult to be objective when you’re in the middle of it! I find that taking a conscious step to go out of your ‘suppose to know’ zone and getting inspiration from other works really well for me! (Even if you were the original inspiration for them! :)
It will happen. Take your time. Trust your instincts!
nomadicmillers
That’s how I felt with this new bus too, we just threw ourselves in it with beds and a toilet and a week later we had a shower. We had no kitchen for 3 weeks it was rough. It’s almost done and I still feel like we might still be in the oh ya we should have done that... oh well, what can you do 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
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