レイチェル・ブレイセンのインスタグラム(yoga_girl) - 3月20日 09時29分

Right now: flying to Sweden to see my family. I am so tired. The past month I've been in six countries in Europe (mostly Sweden and Amsterdam) followed by a wonderful week in Costa Rica with my soul sister. After that I spent a few days in Aruba for Carnival before traveling to Bonaire where my appendix ruptured at the very same moment my soul sister passed away in a car crash. Surgery, hospital beds and absolutely horrifying days followed until the doctors cleared me for travel. Off to Costa Rica again, this time to say goodbye instead of hello. So painful. Back to Aruba via Panama this morning then right away Sweden via Bonaire and Amsterdam. I'm spending more time on airplanes than I am with my feet on the ground and it's as sad as it sounds.

It's like I'm completing a huge, horrible circle right now. Repeating the same countries across the world trying to heal and keep everything flowing. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm trying to trust the universe again. Or just to trust. Anything.

I am so tired. So, so tired. I have dark circles under my eyes, my skin is breaking out, I'm pale, my hair is oily, my hands dry, my stomach in knots, my neck stiff. But I'm here. My heart is beating. I am going through the most difficult moments of my life but I am finally allowing these feelings to be here. I've surrendered. When I need to cry, I bawl. When I want to laugh, I laugh. I feel like a shaking leaf being blown around by the wind. But the wind is powerful and strong, and it blows with intention. Letting go of control is how I will heal. I'll let the uncertainty of the wind bring me to all the places I need to go.
One day at a time. #grateful for @dennisfromsalad and @ringo_thegringo for always being by my side

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