レナ・ダナムさんのインスタグラム写真 - (レナ・ダナムInstagram)「I recently found myself in a moment where I had to use my lessons or suffer- I had two choices, to dig deep into my knowledge or sit in an old kind of pain, and I realized “I actually have gained skills and perspective." So....in this edition of Lessons I Learned So That Hopefully You Don't Have To, we tackle codependent behavior... Early in my thirties I realized that not *everyone* around me lived or died by the ding on their phone, shook in terror at the idea of someone, anyone, being angry with them, or was clocking praise from those closest to them like I clocked points that time I tried Weight Watchers. And while many wiser women have written books to this effect, here are some of the mantras that have found me where I am, living in a lot less fear: - you can't do it for them (fix that habit, change that worldview, lift that pain) - to paraphrase the queen Maya Angelou, when someone tells you who they are- like really truly please actually listen. They'll say it every day. - fantasy is lovely, but when you start living in constant fantasy about someone changing, evolving, showing up in a magical new way it's time to look for healthy ways to reroute your thoughts. - people need to work to gain your trust. It's something worth working for.-energy should be given in correlation to energy received. Like, what's fair is fair (unless someone you care for needs you for a legitimate reason. You know, we are reasonable and flexible here people.) - here's one that ONLY applies to sex partners, so cover your eyes and ears MOM: sex is intimate and glorious, but it can also serve as a veil for other forms of intimacy, and make you feel like you know someone in ways you really don't. That's the only good argument I've ever heard for waiting a few dates to do it, and even that's pretty weak, but it's something to keep in mind as your journey. - look at larger conflicts within yourself. Do you crave a stable relationship but consistently date touring EDM musicians? Do you hate conflict but choose super fiery friends? Examining your own cross-firing instincts is a big deal and kind of a life saver. I. LOVE. YOU. EVEN. WHEN. YOU. BLOCK. AND. UNBLOCK. xx Lena」2月23日 3時28分