レナ・ダナムのインスタグラム(lenadunham) - 12月8日 04時05分

Oh hey, just self-isolating with my pod, aka my pot belly and my sunglasses. You know I’ve been thinking a lot about my pot belly in quarantine- especially as I notice an unusual amount of articles with titles like “how I lost the weight” and “diet is everything.” Are there more of them or do I just have more time to notice? Somehow, headlines that used to roll off my flesh rolls sting in a new way- not because I think that’s the body I’m meant to have, but because it feels like it’s adding yet another item to the epic to-do list we are all creating for ourselves in Covid- you know the one: “Now that I can’t be in the world, maybe I’ll finally... take up karate... build my own furniture... grow geraniums...” But for most people pandemic life has not proven to be a break from the world or themselves. And so the list grows, the items remain unchecked, and the suggestion of a revamped clean eating plan in my newsfeed somehow feels like a personal assault. Growing up chubby, fat, thicc, whatever you wanna call it- I always felt my body was a sign that read “I’m lazy and I have done less.” Like if I just found the will to invest 30% more I could be okay. Over the years, as my body guided me through my career and illness and disability, I started to appreciate what it was capable of. But somehow, this pandemic time has brought back some of those old feelings of self-loathing and I think it all comes back to that damned to-do list, the one that started when we went into lockdown. Should I be revamping my fridge with veggies and showing off before/after pics, emerging from quarantine with a revenge body? And why, after all these years spent fostering self love, do I still feel like weight loss is an item for my to-do? When I could be adding “learn Spanish?” or “fall in love with a firefighter?” Like, what if I checked that one off *forever forever* (by doing it never never)? But I’m so curious- what has this period brought up for you as you’ve sat with the body you were given, no matter where self isolation has taken it? Please share with me in the comments- I’ll be reading faithfully from right here in this bikini top.

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