レナ・ダナムのインスタグラム(lenadunham) - 11月17日 01時57分

For the last year I’ve been writing a piece for @harpersmagazine about the experience of learning, once and for all, that I would never be a biological mother- and about the Internet communities that I fell into when it felt like the world had no space IRL for the grief, pain and rage that comes along with processing something of this magnitude. Fertility is a complex topic, one that’s easy to reduce to outdated biological urges and gender roles, baby announcement photos and girl on girl jealousy. The fertility industrial complex is also about financial privilege, the refusal to be perceived as a quitter and (often, not always, shout out to the many queer folks using IVF to change the face of American families) fear of embracing non-normative home structures. But for me- for so many- my turn on the IVF ride was wrapped up in self-hatred, addiction and fear of the unknown- who was I if not a mother?I wrote this piece for the many women who have been failed by both medical science and their own biology, but who have been further failed by society’s inability to imagine another role for them. I also wrote this for the people who dismissed their pain. And I wrote this for the strangers online- some of whom I communicated with, most of whom I did not- who showed me, over and over again, that I was far from alone. A special thank you to the sensitive and rigorous Christopher Beha, a wonderful editor. I hope this starts a few conversations, asks more questions than it answers and reminds us that there are so many ways to be a mother, and even more ways to be a woman. And to quote a bard of our time: “I am bigger than my body gives me credit for.” Link, as ever, in bio.

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