Kate Oliverさんのインスタグラム写真 - (Kate OliverInstagram)「I was doing okay. Fears? Yes. Anxieties? Of course. Joy? Still there. Love? Absolutely. I was okay. I made bread and dried thyme and did yoga and cuddled with Adelaide and kissed my wife. Yesterday I dropped and broke a mug after a restless night of worrisome coughing and that was all it took. I fell apart. I sobbed into the mattress, bent at the waist, feet on the floor. Hands and face buried in quilts. I felt the weight of everything: the uncertainty of our finances - last year was good, this year isn’t. It could have been. I missed our babies: we don’t have Sofie and Memphis and I can’t cry into their fur. I cried because last year was so hard for us - so hard. We’d been doing the work. We were healing. Rebuilding. So much goodness was in the works for our family later this year. Some travel out west again. Maybe settling down in a house for awhile, or at least some extended months at the cottage in Canada. A rebuilt and better than ever business. Ellen furthering her education. I’d been working on something new too. Something that is my heart, expressed and at home. I felt the fear of my cough and the knowledge that I’m at higher risk. The tininess of our home made me feel tinier still, alone and exposed. I worried about the lack of fresh food in our pantry and the uncertainty of the grocery store. I cried because I don’t know when we’ll see our cottage and beloved lake again - the place that is our truest home, where we heal and are most ourselves. I worried for my daughter and thought about how I need to write my will, because our situation is complicated and I can’t leave it up to fate. I thought about the deadline for my manuscript edits in a few days and how I can’t write, even though I sit down to do it, and I wondered about what kind of world we’ll be living in when my book comes out. Will the three plus years of my life I’ve devoted to this book even matter then? I thought about the dying and those who can’t be with them in their final hours and mourn them in the right way, and I thought about those stuck in abusive homes and held them all with my fraying emotions as best I could because that’s what empaths do. Cont’d in comments.」3月30日 3時39分