ギャランス・ドレのインスタグラム(garancedore) - 7月24日 00時19分

Do you talk about sex with your friends?
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I do, and we learn so much from each other. My guy friends are often surprised that the first question we ask to our friends when they meet a new guy is about the actual, well, sorry guys - the fit (yeah it’s not so much about size but about fit, you know?). But that’s usually just the fun intro to the real conversation - this is just to say that women are usually pretty opened to share. My gay friends are too, usually, and I’ve been experiencing that heterosexual men are the ones that have the hardest time talking about it.
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It’s the same in France and in America - even though the differences between French and American sexuality are incommensurable. It’s two different worlds, but cis men still have a hard time talking about it. So much performance pressure, so many things left unsaid, so much drama about libido, so much porn education that completely mess up our ideas of what intimacy is, and we each actually want. .

When there is no intimacy, there is no sex. Just “bodies in movement”. It’s nice, but it’s like looking at the Grand Canyon through your phone (???)(idk) or something.
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Talking about it, you learn that so many of us are going through “stuff”. Couples who don’t have sex and have so much shame about it. People that can’t connect through sex and prefer to be in front of a screen. Millions of different stories, so many bottled up into a lot of frustration. .

Sexuality isn’t as easy as it is presented to us. That’s why Viagra is doing so well. That’s why “dating” apps are doing so well. That’s why @estherperelofficial is so important. That’s also why it’s so critical to talk with the people we feel safe with (maybe not social media), crack open the subject, stop pretending that everything is fine if it isn’t, stop constantly trying to act as porn stars even if it’s fun sometimes, get help, be vulnerable, and not take it too seriously, but still take it as one of the most fundamental tools to reach true intimacy with someone.
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I don’t know why I got inspired to talk about this… That was very French of me, ahah.
I’m probably going through some interesting things myself. We all are!

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surrendertoyourbliss It's fascinating how we are bombarded by images or fantasies related to sexuality all over ( look at the music industry and how women accept and nurture the concept of the sexual object ) and yet there are almost no sexually healthy role models out there. We learn at school how to avoid getting pregnant or catch a disease, sexuality is looked at through the medical and preventive lenses...No one teaches us how to know our body, let go of our limiting beliefs about self worth and performance. When I speak to my friends about sexuality, I never ask : do you get orgasms with this person ? First if all, this is none of my business, why should I want to know ? Second, this obsession for " getting the orgasm" erases the beauty of the erotic journey that precedes it and the ability to just enjoy the moment with a partner and be fully present. Porn is unfortunately what teenagers refer to when finding out about sexuality because there is a huge void is educating and inspiring us as well as new generations in a healthy way. Men have way too much pressure around performance and women often underestimate the importamce of getting to know and connect with their uterus, vagina and sex without shame nor guilt. When I coach women about including eroticism in their life or nurturing their sexual energy, they believe they need to have a partner to do so or do not see that eroticism is connecting to life and nature, to our 5 senses and to the drops of water on our face when we take a shower, to the beauty of nature....etc...and sexual energy us creative energy..it"s not something that is just related to sexuality...it needs to be ackowledged and nurtured to keep us feeling alive. Sexual energy can be used in professional projects, creating communities, have children, create art....it's time we approach conversations about sexuality in a much broader way of how do we fully accept ouselves and our body, how do we nurture our desire for life and how do we communicate our desire in a healthy way to our partner that stirs-up deep connection and intimacy instead of getting stuck in the limiting : " I do this, she or she wants that "..." i enjiy sex with him or her or I don't".

levinasays Such great thoughts. I can only speak to the US (don’t have much experience with France) — our sex education is so limited that as adults, our main influences are often porn and the internet. That doesn’t really set us up to be present and truly connect. That said, my partner and I talk about sex always — which is very new for us. When we started dating each other, we were very open and vulnerable about all aspects of our relationship and ended up coming up with the idea of journaling about our sex life with each other. That led us to make a guided, physical journal that any couple can use — @asexjournal. It’s been tremendously helpful for us to have those check-ins — it’s brought us so much closer both in sex and across our relationship overall! Normalizing conversation about sex and sexuality (and being proactive about checking in rather than reactive!) is such an important cultural shift that will make such a huge difference for all people.

gabriela.piasecka Sex is a topic as everything else. The difference is if you talk about y o u r sex or just the sex as it is. I share this information or experience with my friends but it's an information not describing details and I think it's kinda safe way to have no shame about important thing. Funny is that in Poland there is really poor sex education during junior high school/ high school so lots of us used to think that pornography might be real and only our later experience (and talking!!) made us more aware and not scared of the issue.

socialsexrevolution Hey! We’re the cause behind #MakeLoveNotPorn - and we think what you said is so important that we started a business around it almost 10 years ago. Through our user-generated, human-curated video sharing platform, we’re socializing sex - to make it easier to talk about, to then improve sexual behavior and sexual values. You should check out socialsexrevolution.com and the video on that page (link in bio). We have a lot of French members and MakeLoveNotPornstars too! We’d love to talk with you about collaborating.

ablathoo Poetry... J'aime, ô pâle beauté, tes sourcils surbaissés, D'où semblent couler des ténèbres, Tes yeux, quoique très noirs, m'inspirent des pensers Qui ne sont pas du tout funèbres. Tes yeux, qui sont d'accord avec tes noirs cheveux, Avec ta crinière élastique, Tes yeux, languissamment, me disent : " Si tu veux, Amant de la muse plastique, Suivre l'espoir qu'en toi nous avons excité, Et tous les goûts que tu professes... ——— Les promesses d'un visage / Charles Beaudelaire

hollysolightly I do now have s circle of friends who like talking about sex and it’s fantastic! Also been so glad to have come across the forum on period tracker app ‘flo’ where you can find discussions and advice on literally anything... A brilliant artist once said ‘democracy without cliteracy is phallusy’ and i wholeheartedly agree. There’s so much to learn and it’s *so* important for women to insist on exploring their pleasure as well.

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