ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 5月12日 05時03分

“On behalf of AT&T, I apologize for our decision to pay Mr. Cohen to influence the president’s agenda and not just drive up to the back door of the Trump hotel in D.C. with a briefcase full of cash,” said AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson, adding that the $600,000 the company paid Cohen as a political consultant would have been put to much better use as part of a collection of unmarked bills in a duffel bag handed off to a guy in the hotel lobby. “I regret trying to use Mr. Cohen as a middleman instead of just going directly to the Trump hotel with our bribe and being done with it. Not only did we have to deal with all of Mr. Cohen’s disorganized bullshit, as well as his pretty shocking lack of knowledge on how regulatory reform actually works, but we also were never sure how much of our money was actually being used to influence the administration’s policy-making. I can assure everyone that from now on, AT&T will follow the lead of other companies by just depositing a bunch of cash on the hotel’s loading dock.” #TheOnion

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