Qing Hanのインスタグラム(qinniart) - 11月3日 09時40分

"Breaking"
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This is a little personal this time (also I decided to try the daily sketches again but uh...I'm already behind...?). I'm not feeling too well emotionally these days. Mentally, i know that I'm really pretty lucky that I don't have cancer or whatnot, and that it's just a heart valve replacement....but it's hard not to feel bitter and frustrated from time to time knowing that I have to get my blood tested 2 times a week (less as time goes on but...) take a blood thinning medication for the rest of my life, and I have to watch what I eat cause I can't intake vitamin K inconsistently since it might create blood clots and can be dangerous. having a kid in the future will be hard for me... I'm not even sure if it'll be safe for me to get my ears re-pierced cause if my blood is infected it'll be really dangerous for my heart ?.
Plus two weeks before my surgery started I breaking out in hives, and I can't even see the allergist because I'm taking too many meds right now...they get on my face and I'm not good enough putting on makeup to cover it so it looks ridiculously red and patchy ?. Makes it really hard going outside. As if the heart disease and surgery wasn't enough haha...
Anyways, sorry, I just feel a little brittle these days and my mood can plummet pretty fast from time to time. Apparently there are psyche doctors that I'll have access to for post-surgery soon so hopefully I'll feel better soon.
Sorry for this, I just needed to get it out cause I'm with my mom all of the time and she's not the best at comforting ppl xD;; (plus she gets all quiet and I feel guilty for worrying her even more...I think she's blaming herself a bit cause this is a condition I was born with; of course, that's ridiculous tho but yeah... I can't really rant to her u__u;;)
If you made it this far, thanks and here's a cookie ??. Thanks for putting up with me guys.

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