ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 4月25日 05時40分

WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Monday by Gallup, a majority of Americans stated they would respect President Joe Biden more if he shot them. “We found that Biden’s favorability among Americans on all ends of the political spectrum would increase to 75% if the president were to break into their homes wielding a 9 millimeter pistol and unloaded a few shots into their torso,” said researcher Nicole Torres, who noted that Biden could enjoy one of the highest U.S. presidential approval ratings ever if he were to begin open firing immediately.⁠
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