ジェシカ・シーバのインスタグラム(mommasgonecity) - 9月5日 01時03分

An arrest was made within a local school district yesterday. The man was an elementary teacher, a children’s theater teacher- he was also a counselor for me at my elementary school at after care, many years ago. “Big Brian” has been in the district about 30 years, by my calculation.

There are many charges against this man, but the most startling and recent was an incident with a student on a private zoom.

My feelings about this are layered and intense, but my son lost sleep over it because of the conversations amongst his friends. This is where my knees buckle.

I want to share some tips from my friend @roo_pow, who has experience in predation and working within school districts, on how to talk to your kids.

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- Lead with care and concern. No judgment. Recognize that sometimes even wonderful people have dark sides.

-Let them know that it's never ever the child's fault. That's the biggest thing. Kids won't talk because of the shame. They're afraid it'll be their fault or they should have said something or they'll get their phones taken away.

1) Parents should stress that it's not ever the victim's fault.

2) Recognize that he had some good qualities and of course it's upsetting because there's a level of trust

3) Talk about abuse — and the different types

4) Let kids ask questions

5) explain that sometimes grooming happens — where an adult will work hard to gain trust in order to manipulate

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I firmly believe that honesty is the best policy across the board with kids; With the doctor, at the dentist (“is this going to hurt?” YES. It just might hurt you), and especially within awkward conversations about sex and bodies and feelings.

I’m not sure how to navigate my own feelings of betrayal and anger and fear, but the one thing I do know, is that my kids need to know that as their parent, I am here to listen and to be a safe place for them.

As we navigate this new distance learning journey, I strongly encourage you to talk with your children about their experiences. Seems like so much to worry about, I can barely breathe.

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