ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 7月31日 01時01分

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[BIHAKUEN]UVシールド(UVShield)

chagfne Got my helmet ⛑ on my head Figure out what that zombie 🧟‍♂️ said what? Lava 🌋 all over the room Got a half-heart 💔 left, ⬅️ man, 👨 I am doomed 😭. Don’t have any iron bars My pick ⛏ just broke into some shards Scary noise what should I do?😧 Go left ⬅️ or right ➡️ I’ll have to choose Visions 👁 of last time ⏰ flash 🌩 inside my mind 🧠 I’m scared 😱, oh well And I’m pretty sure there’s a big creeper 👀 right ➡️ there Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌕 I know you’re lookin’ 👀 at that cave and your feelin’ kinda’ brave Go to bed 🛌 you’ll be alright Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌚 There’s nothing that is gonna change 🦋 If you just wait ⏳ until the day ☀️ Zombies 🧟‍♀️ wanna eat your brains 🧠 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌖 I know it’s me you’re gonna thank 🙏 Make a bed 🛏 it’s not too late 🕒 Three wool 🐑 and three wooden planks Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌗 How many times 🕰 do I have to say 🗣 Drop the pick ⛏ and walk 🚶‍♀️away-a woah 😧 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌘 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌑 Don’t❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌒 Don’t❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌓 Stomach’s all tied up in knots ➰ This labyrinth, in getting lost This is really getting old 👴 Found like two pieces of coal Down⬇️ one 1️⃣ there’s just stone Monsters 👹 won’t leave me alone down another there’s some lava 🌋 and of course I get pwned👊💦🤕 Remember last time ⏰ I tried to mine at night 🌔 I failed so bad😫 I lost 🗺 all my stuff🗿it was really tough That’s it!😡 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌙 I know you’re lookin’ 👀 at that cave and you’re feelin’ kinda brave Go to bed 🛌 you’ll be alright👍 Don’t ❌ mine at night 🌌 There’s nothing that is gonna change 🦋 If you just wait ⏳ until the day 🌞 Zombies 🧟‍♀️ wanna eat your brains 🧠 Don’t ❌ mine at night 🌛 I know it’s me you’re gonna thank 🙏 Make a bed 🛏 it’s not to late ⏱ Three wool 🐑 and three wooden 🌲 planks Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌚 How many times do I have to say?😫 Drop the pick ⛏ and walk 🚶‍♂️away-a, woah Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌕 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌖 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌗 Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌘 D-O-N-T M-I-N-E D-O-N-T M-I-N-E D-O-N-T M-I-N-E D-O-N-T M-I-N-E Don’t ❌ mine ⛏ at night 🌑 Thank you

rickardmode Gamers, get ready because we have the performance of a lifetime to show you! This guy riding on a bus is absolutely crushing it at whatever phone game he’s playing. The roughly 30-year-old man has achieved total-gaming-legend status as he swipes his fingers with mind-boggling skill over the screen, completely annihilating at what appears to be some sort of puzzle game based around taking different sushi ingredients and grouping them together based on patterns. In fact, this video game god is operating at such an epic skill level that he doesn’t even hesitate when the bus hits a pothole or after getting jostled by a woman pushing past him for the exit. Recent Videos from The Onion 5 Things To Know About ‘Once Upon A Time In Hollywood’ 7/23/19 1:06PM While other passengers are reading books or texting friends after a long day at work, this bus-riding titan is seemingly racking up hundreds of thousands of sashimi points or whatever they happen to be called in this game. And while we don’t know how the levels work or whether he is trying to build sushi rolls or eat them or whatever, it’s clear that this beast is slicing the rolls at a truly furious pace! Whoa! The screen just went all crazy and all the sushi vanished in a burst of light, but this guy isn’t even breaking a sweat. He’s clearly in a challenge stage or bonus round or something. Goddamn, this is truly a feat to be remembered!

bam.boo.zled You’re god damn right I am, that’s for the recognition. It’s about time my parents and my wife recognize that as well 😤😤😤

jruopp1 @f450hybrid you should only play that game on public transportation. Extra points if you're sitting next to an old woman

brand3bkc123 There are many high-paying jobs and a good future for young men good at phone games. Really.

shook.la @sneakyvolta bruh he copy pasted the article I don’t think that constitutes a “problem”

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