アナリン・マッコードのインスタグラム(theannalynnemccord) - 1月2日 13時56分

Last New Years I made a resolution to spend 2018 focusing on myself. Sounds terrible, right? But, why? Why is that such a bad thing? Yes, there are those who do that at an expert level, but for the rest of us peasants sometimes it’s not so bad to do a bit of self-care. In fact, it’s necessary. Of course, when I made the choice in 2018 to “put the oxygen mask on myself first” so to speak, I had NO IDEA what I was in for. I experienced some of the lowest lows. People suddenly gone from my life, some necessary, some taken with no just cause. Blocked memories of severe sexual trauma which almost lead to my death as a small child returned. Heartbreaking moments with some of those closest to me. But, as quickly as those terrors began my highest highs came knocking too. I’ve never felt such pain and such love in such a short period of time. So much support even from some of the most unlikely sources showed me that there is nothing I cannot survive, and that for the first time in my life it’s okay to trust in others, to open up, to choose vulnerability because it is not weak as I always believed. It is, in fact, the strongest choice in the world. I am not a victim. I do not keep victims in my life. I am a survivor. I will only surround myself with people who choose growth over complaining, light over dark and love over fear. The opposite was true for a long time, but with the help of a very powerful PTSD treatment I was able to break those cycles once and for all. So this post is one of gratitude to a single year in my life that quite literally changed everything. To all the people who have held my hand through this dark night into the beautiful morning that followed, I am forever in your debt. And to the new found love and light entering my life, I am so very thankful. Whatever your journey is just know that your cycles may not be in your control, but there is a way out and your past pains can be completed and ended for good. It takes stepping outside of your comfort zone, perhaps, but, I can promise you... it’s absolutely worth it. Here’s to you! ? With Love From Cambodia (the happiest place on earth... for me ?)

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