ジ・オニオンのインスタグラム(theonion) - 5月17日 09時00分

“Dammit, we’ve lost him,” senior intelligence analyst Edward Greenwood said moments after the man’s hands were seen moving toward the camera while holding a small, black, rectangular object presumed to be a strip of tape. “It’s like he just vanished into thin air. He could be absolutely anywhere! C’mon, people—I want status reports every 30 minutes until we track this bastard down! We can’t let him fall completely off the grid. The only thing we have to go on now is all the data from his smartphone and every email he’s ever sent or received.” #TheOnion

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