サマンサウィルスのインスタグラム(samanthawills) - 10月1日 10時24分
2/6 [CONT]…. The reality was, on that vacation, I found myself having to continually apologize to my friends (who are fucking amazing) for ruining their vacation, because out of no where I would often have a stream of hot, silent tears running down my face, that I just couldn’t seem to turn off.
⠀
My heart was incredibly heavy & as such, I was riddled with an overriding anxiety because I, & someone who is really important to me, had somehow found ourselves in a deafening silence of a no-communication Mexican stand off (Even though that would be perfect to use literally, I use that purely metaphorically, & sadly cannot link it in anyway to the fact I was actually IN Mexico ;)
⠀
The last few months I have been workshopping some serious personal fork-in-the-road choices, that are quickly approaching, & are about to require final decisions on. The debating going on in my mind, of over analyzing all the things that could go wrong if I make the wrong decision(s), was not at all eased by the jetlag & fatigue that my body was going thru, having flown back from Australia only 48 hours prior.
⠀
To try to numb all of that head noise for a bit, & also to force my body clock to do a quick 180 degree flip to make it sleep on Northern Hemisphere time, when it had just only adjusted to sleeping in Southern hemisphere time, I was taking multiple valium tablets a day in an effort to try to quiet my mind for a minute, & get some sleep. They would often kick in at about 4.30am, seeing me in a medicated haze each morning as I would than force myself to wake up at a normal local time, & start a new day to do it all again.
⠀
Now here’s a recipe; Add jetlag & mental fatigue, with some severe anxiety. Mix in a heavy & confused heart, some tears of bottled up sadness, a minimum of 3 valium tablets daily + the pressure of an pending life-course impacting decision…. Oh, and some tequila, (because – Mexico!!) and voila!; you have what Ye Olde Urban Dictionary would refer to as, a Red Hot Fucking Mess… [CONT ON NEXT POST]
[BIHAKUEN]UVシールド(UVShield)
>> 飲む日焼け止め！「UVシールド」を購入する
1,674
2
2017/10/1
