ジェサ・ヒントンのインスタグラム(jessahinton) - 5月31日 11時25分

Real talk for everyone who thinks they know the struggle. It's not pretty but it's real life for a lot of women. I used to not workout for weeks/months at a time. Days I ate a whole large box of Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza. How about a jar of cookie butter? Sure did. I had 0 motivation. It became a vicious cycle of watching Netflix series & living on delivered food. I also remember days when I consumed only 400 calories. I trained 2 times a day & survived on caffeine. I had a boyfriend who would come up to me & pinch my stomach & say "what's this?". I would sneak cereal because I was ashamed of eating anything but salad or grilled chicken. When you suffer from body dysmorphia & anorexia, the smaller you get the more unhappy you become. You have a sick relationship w/ the scale & mirror. You try to be skinnier than you were yesterday. You want to weigh less & less every day that goes by. So why bother? Why not just eat your feelings & depression away? I would go through crazy battles within myself all through my 20's. Try having a baby & hating your body. No one can tell you to stop thinking badly about yourself or call you beautiful a million times. The positive things others say to you doesn't matter. But the negative..? The negative things you remember for life. "You're too big". "You should be thinner since you're 5'8". I was turned down from sooooo many castings even when I weighed 112. When my hair was falling out because I was malnourished. Laxatives were my best friends. I completely f*cked up my insides. It wasn't until I hit 30 when I started actively changing my mindset & lifestyle. I wanted to feel better mentally & physically. I didn't want to be "skinny". I wanted to healthy & toned. I started speaking openly about my battle w/ anorexia & wanted to help other women going through it. We have that image in our head of how we want to look & who we compare ourselves to. Social media is a bitch. People forget Facetune, photoshop, lighting... etc. I proudly post this non edited picture from @tate.foto because I worked hard for this. I trained hard for this. I ate right for this. I'm not perfect but I'm a hell of a lot happier in life ❤️

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